STOP MINDING THEM

Ever felt like what you are doing is because you are afraid of what others may think if you do it differently? We all feel at least once in our lives that what we are doing or saying or wearing or even sometimes thinking is because we don’t want to offend others around us. By all means we should try to be at peace with people but what if the diplomacy you are showing,the adjustments you are making is just making people think that you would oblige to whatever they say and that they kinda have a right to tell you what you should do according to them. It happened with me, i am generally a person who does not let others determine what i should do, i always try to do things i am comfortable doing and as long as i am ok with it i don’t mind what others would say. Recently i noticed that these days others are actually coming up to me saying my hairstyle is not good (in their opinion) and tell me to change it or they themselves try to do it! Its just one small thing, i noticed changes in the way i dress, accessorize, even think! I kept hearing my friends about how they think one should dress, if even a bit deviation is found they tag the person ‘not so good character’. I slowly started accepting their opinion as my own, but thank God i soon realized my folly.

Don’t let people dictate you, do according to what your conscience says is right. Well what i am saying is not to rebel and do not so right things just because you think it’s alright. What i am saying is don’t lose yourselves in the crowd. Every one is unique, even our fingerprints are different. God has given each one of us a unique life, talents,personality and a unique plan. Don’t lose yourself in this age of herd mentality and blind following.

If you like singing let no one stop you from doing it, if your dream is to be painter, a writer do it don’t let the world stop you. If you are a strong believer of God don’t let those who don’t believe in Him tell you HE doesn’t exist. If you want to be different don’t look around and feel that being different might isolate you,In fact all the leaders today we have is because they chose to follow their heart and work hard for it.I am a life science student but my passion is psychology, after joining this course i discovered what i really wanted to do, so now i am determined that my post graduation and my research will be in psychology. I have heard people tell me that that they think its a foolish decision and i better continue in the field i am in, That i must have decided before i joined the course. I know that i made a mistake, but just because i made one doesn’t imply that i should repeat  it my whole lifetime by continuing in the field i don’t have my heart in. If you have something in your heart you might have done something else and might be regretting it but always remember ”THERE ARE ALWAYS SECOND OR EVEN THIRD CHANCES”.

If we always live in the fear of what others may think, which they will irrespective of what you do, you might never live the life you wanted, so stop minding them. Its not them who is going to your life, you are going to live your life and fulfill the plan God has for you and live the dream He has placed in your heart, go for it, dont you mind them coz tomorrow when you succeed they will mind you. It written in bible that one must guard her/his heart as it is the wellspring of life, so guard your heart, do what God has placed in it. And i pray as Jesus has promised that HE WILL GIVE US PEACE, NOT A PEACE AS THE WORLD GIVES  which is mostly not so deep and true, but A PEACE WHICH MAKES YOU CONFIDENT AND FEARLESS(john 14:27)

ALL THE BEST FOR LIFE, STAY FIRM DON’T LET OTHERS CONTROL YOU

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fear of people, is helping someone in great need but is taking you for granted right? ,should we bring out our talents in front of the world or hide it?……..read along to know what i think is right…might give you some answers as well..

never stop helping
never stop helping

Reluctance, it is a big hindrance in our lives.Before doing anything new, we mostly try to avoid doing it as we have a slight if not aversion, then fear to do it.But i feel the most binding thing in our lives is not fear of doing something new and failing but what others might think of us.We always try to be popular among our peers and the people above us, its nothing wrong,but sometimes in order to be good and acceptable in other’s eyes we forget to do what we really want to.Sometimes the thing we do out of benevolence and good will for someone is taken for granted and over a period of time the help is taken as a right, some cases we can confront the beneficiary and tell them their attitude is hurting us but at other times we might not be able to do so, what then is the right path. Should we continue to help, especially if the person actually is in great need or should we turn around and refuse to help anymore? all these things are revolving in my head.

Being in college is fun and at the same time sometimes confusing.We try to find our ground, try to fit in, make an image of ours. Amidst all of it i feel that some where down the line in order to fit in, to satisfy others, in order to avoid any conflict we end up doing what others expect us to do, suppressing our desires and wishes. I am considered a studious nerd, who knows all answers, is always helpful to others and even lecturers have started to take my assistance in some works. It all seems very good, even i also thought, but slowly i started seeing people’s attitude towards me, i am always expected to have all the answers, be always ready with the work assigned to me, and i assure you the work i am talking about is not homework but extra work for the lecturer who has vision problems gives me. At first i did the work without any problem as i thought that helping her is my responsibility as a student, but soon she became burdensome, all her work is done by me now. I always think of telling her how i feel, but then stop as i feel that she is disabled and hurting her with my words would not be good.

I asked my dad what to do.Instead of saying that i should stop doing any work for her, he told me to consider all the problems she might be facing and continue helping her whole heartedly. At first i hated to hear it but pondering on it, it seems true. I am helping her because she truly needs help even though she might not realize that her attitude is not correct. Some times situations are like that, we should not stop doing good just because we feel people are not appreciating it. Well it might not be true at all times, sometimes we need confrontation other times we need to be understanding and consider all that the person in front of us is going through.

I think others’ attitude should not change the good in us or should not stop us from doing good. Sometimes people are truly selfish and at such times we definitely need to stop being a puppet in their hands. Sometimes the person in front of you is helpless and at such times instead of loathing them and thinking of them as inferiors to us we should help by all means and make the world a slightly better place for them.

ITS ALL IN US

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Happiness or despair it’s all in us. We always tell that it’s that annoying or irresponsible person who is making us feel down or that tough situation. But none of this can bog us down,can make us feel depressed until we allow them to. Recently while doing a class presentation as a group, i found out that one of my group members had not shown up,not only that, the responsibility, the part i had given her to do she didn’t do it properly she did it just for the sake of it. My mind was already upset due a news article i had read,the picture of a toddler washed ashore totally shook me,i was brought to tears, as i went to college expecting something good to happen i got to know about my ‘missing’ group partner and saw her work.  I was totally upset with anger already inside, i began to show it outside as well, my friends started asking me what was wrong as i wasn’t in my usual bubbly demeanor,i had no explanation. As the day progressed i diverted myself and started feeling better. In this i realized that if we give the reins of our happiness and calmness in the hands of our situations, other people or even our mood we will start to feel more sad than we need to,every small thing will start to feel irritating, every small problem will overwhelm us. The secret is to remind ourselves that its in us to keep us happy,not in others,not in our situations. Starting our day with a heart of thankfulness and gratitude for our lives and all that God has given us, and telling ourselves that its gonna be a happy no matter what helps.

While facing our past mistakes our failures we always think it would be better if we could go back in time and change our reaction, or the decision we made. Its not possible but we keep ourselves bound to our past way more than we should sometimes more than we like it, even i struggle with it, but i have learnt one thing we all know this but don’t exactly accept it as soon. The past is gone we can never change it, even God cant change it, but what we can do is set our sails high again and jump into the sea. Life is so much more, it is up to us to keep ourselves happy. No one can change our mood, no one can make us feel better, we are the ones who create either happiness or sadness.

Stop looking outside, keep your emotions aside if they overwhelm you and analyse each problem as it comes, logically, don’t take your past mistakes as a sign of your inability,  always be hopeful for the future, but in all this stay focused and happy in your present, its a gift God has given us to enjoy, so many people would have liked to see this day but were not able to.

REMEMBER ITS ALL IN YOU